Weird dream

So I wake up at 5.30am this morning in a sweat. Thank God that dream's over. I'm sitting in a coffee house, not dissimilar to the one in friends. I'm talking to my ex best friend, we lost touch years ago, but in the dream we'd obviously stayed in touch. She was involved in some kind of gang, which is weird cos she's not the tough girl kind. Talking to her, it seems like she stumbled upon it but can't get out. The gang consists of 3-4 young guys. I can't make out if she's dating one of them or not, but she seems close to one of them. suddenly she seems scared, she's telling me she wants out, and I'm telling her she can do it but that I can't help, she has to do it herself (I don't know why I said that, because it's not like me to leave a friend in the lurch) and she suddenly starts crying. I give her a hug, and when I pull away, she's Kimi! A tiny toddler with tears in her eyes, who's scared. I cuddle Kimi and tell her everything will be ok, and that I'll look after her. Then I turn away, and look back and it's the ex friend again. I stand up and tell her I have to leave, then she whispers something to me, which I don't remember as she leaves, I call after her "Oh no, don't get me involved in your gang stuff, I'm not going there" And I walk to the other side of the coffee house to sit down and drink my coffee.

Next thing I know one of the gang members comes round, he says "you're paralysed aren't you?" I say "No" and he suddenly gets a huge knife out and tries to slash at my legs, I grab the knife handle and manage to steer it away from my legs, but I am screaming for the manager to come help, but no sound is coming out.

All of a sudden I am in my old army appartment in germany, but with my DH and not my ex. He is at work at I am cleaning the house when I hear noises outside, I look through the tiniest gap in the curtains, which are closed, and it's the gang. They see me because they are staring right at the window. I quickly move away, and look at the clock to see of DH is due home yet. I realise that it's getting late and there's no sign of him. I grab my cell phone but before I have time to dial, the house phone rings. I answer and all I hear is heavy breathing. I ask who it is, and what they want, but I get nothing. I slam the phone down and try to call DH from my cell. But his phone number has been deleted from my contacts.

Skip forward a few hours and I am back in the house I live in today, and I am sitting in the kitchen eating dinner with DH, the kids are asleep, and I am telling him about the gang. He says I need to go to Scotland right now with the kids, and that he'll follow after the house business is sorted. Suddenly I am back at the coffee house again, and I am looking for my friend, I tell her that she had better not tell anyone where I am moving to.

When I get back to my house, I am packing my stuff into a small case when the door starts hammering, I don't know who it is, as there's no glass or peephole (there is on my real door, but not this one) but I'm guessing it's the gang, the knocking gets louder and louder, and I'm hiding behind my wall unit, just waiting for the door to bust in, and then I wake up!

Update

Well, James is getting big now, he came home from SCBU when he was 5 weeks old in the beginning of december, and has been going from strength to strength. He hasn't had any major issues, so I know we've been incredibly lucky with him. He's now 11 weeks old and weighs over 9lb.
JJ is now full steam ahead, walking, running, climbing... EVERYTHING!! Her hair is getting longer, enough for pigtails, and I cut her a fringe because it was driving me nuts when she had her cold that snots would get in her hair.
Ahh and finally Kimi, ever the princess. Her sentences are getting longer and longer, and she is getting increasingly annoying as she grows up! Adorable as she is, she is quite the bully to her little sister, I have to watch her every single second.

Thankfully both girls absolutely adore their brother and very rarely get rough with him, they love to kiss and cuddle him, which is nice.

James is here!

A few hrs old

Now at 1 month

Well... We made it to 32w 6d before James decided he wanted to come on out and meet his sisters. My waters continued to drain, and I ended up with an infection which obviously triggered pre-term labour. It started in the early hours of 26th october (almost 4 weeks after my waters originally broke) and by 6am the ctx were getting stronger, so I called Dh and had him come home from work, and called my mum to watch the girls. We got to the hospital around 11am and they stuck a CTG monitor on me to measure my ctx. By 2pm the consultant came to see me and said that we needed to get baby out. Because he was breech, it had to be a section, which I was totally fine about, and James Alan arrived at 4.19pm weighing 4lb 1oz.

He's now a month old and doing great, he's still in SCBU (like NICU) but is doing well, he's off all monitors and has never needed oxygen. He is doing well with his bottles, but sometimes needs to finish with an NGT. He weighs 5lb 15oz and has 67mls every 4 hours.

Oh boy!!

Well things have gone a bit mad here. At the end of september (The day after JJ's 1st birthday) I got rushed into hospital as I couldn't breathe, and my chest was really wheezy. At first the dr's thought it was a suspected clot on the lung, but that came back clear, then they thought it was pneumonia, but that came back clear as well. So they finally said it was a bad chest infection, with the possiblity of pregnancy induced asthma. Just what I needed. So after a short stay in hospital with nebs etc.. I came home with an inhaler and antibiotics.

Then the following Monday (1st Oct) My waters went, and I was only 29 weeks. So I had to go back to hospital, where it was confirmed that my waters had indeed gone. I had steroid injections to help mature his lungs if he needed to come out, but thankfully I never went into labor. So after a few days they sent me home on antibitoics and I have to go back into hospital every couple days to have a monitor put on, and have bloods drawn to test for infection. I also have u/s every week to check how he's doing and to check my AFI levels, but right now it could all still happen at any time. We're hoping to make it to 36 weeks and then the dr will either induce or schedule a section as the risk of infection from a prolonged rupture goes up after that. At the moment it will likely be a section because he's breech and doesn't have a lot of fluid to turn himself round, but I guess anything could happen. So we are just taking things day by day right now, I am on bedrest probably for the rest of the pregnancy.

WOW!

Firstly let me apologise for not having been around, there has been a whole lot going on and not enough time or energy to keep up with everything. BUT... We had our level II U/S on friday and we're having a BOY this time!! I'm still getting over it, after having 2 girls, I guess I just figured it would be another girl. His name is James Alan, and everything seems normal with the u/s.

It's blown the girl/boy sickness theory right out of the window. It's often been said that Hyperemesis is worse with a girl than a boy, but now I know otherwise. Having only had girls, I couldn't comment other than to repeat others experiences, but now I know that it's not gender based. This 'blue' pregnancy is not as bad as pink PG#1 but way worse than pink PG#2.

The thing I don't get about this illness is how it can change so much. Good days, (only throwing up 3-4 times) bad days, (throwing up constantly as soon as something touches your lips) heartburn nausea, and my latest one "sickly sweet" nausea.. It's weird and hard to explain, but even when I breath in and out if feels really sweet in my stomach, like I've eaten too many sweets, or been on a rollercoaster all day or something. Not pretty.

JJ took her first steps at 10.5 months but I missed it...again. I missed Kimi's first steps because I was PG with JJ and sick and this time I was at a midwife appointment when she did it for her daddy. She's also starting to say proper words now. She can say "Hi", "Chief" (said Teef but she only does it when our dog is around) "Go" and her favorite of the week "car" she will see a car on tv, or one of Kimi's toy ones and that's it, all you hear for an hour is "Cah"

And Kimi? Well... She has her own 'princess bed' now and is sleeping a bit better although she mostly still wakes once in the night, occasionally twice. She's hit the terrible two's head on and I really don't have the strength to deal with it, but know I have to, so that's not helping the HG much either. She's going through the "flop" stage, if you try to take her hand she drops to her knees, if I bend over to cuddle her she grabs my hair and flops, if you want her to do anything she doesn't want to do she flops...AAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!! Aside from that though she's doing really well, and even helped to choose her baby brothers name.

My better half has gone back to work after a 3 week holiday, and boy do I feel it, not having him around makes life so much harder right now, I can't nap whenever I need to like I could before, and the dishwasher doesn't automatically load itself before I've even got out of bed... But still he won't let me do anything around the house, except look after the girls.

Started already

I was kinda hoping that life would be kind to me on at least ONE of my pregnancies, but now I'm guessing NOT.

14 weeks in and I get my first "hotel stay" for IV's. The hyperemesis has hit me with a vengence, maybe it's my fault for thinking that it wouldn't be as bad this time.. yeah 7 litres of fluid and cyclizine injections every 8 hours in my thigh later and the threat of being catheterised if I don't pee was JUST what I wanted. I'm finally out and feeling somewhat human(ish) again. I have a higher dose of meds which seem to be helping so far, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I don't have to go back. I love the hospital, and the staff are wonderful and their knowledge of HG is great, but nobody really wants to be in hospital, even a good one.

Fingers, toes, legs and anything else that won't have me racing to the porceline Goddess are being crossed that I don't have to get any more treatment aside from the pills.

May update:

Ok.. Here's the short version, and believe me, the long version is looooong and you really wouldn't want to hear it..lol.

So at the end of April we discovered that we were expecting again, TOTAL SHOCKER!! We were done. Had our 2 kids and were totally happy. This news has totally changed everything. And so the hyperemesis has hit again already (see link to right), and I'm wondering how I will cope with a baby, and a toddler, especially with the SPD (last time I was on crutches it was so bad). I already have meds, but I'm still blah! I am coming round to the idea, but it's a lot to take on board.

However, there is good news too. Kimi drew her first picture!! Such a big girl, sometimes I forget that she's only 2 (well, will be 2 next week)Check this out!

And also Miss JJ got her first tooth, bless her.